Rules for Driving in Richmond, Va. & Cheating
1. Never, EVER slow down when the light turns yellow. If you're within half a block of a stop light when it turns yellow, put the pedal to the metal.
2. When attempting to enter a street from any parking lot, make sure that at least the front third of your car is sticking out into the nearest lane.
3. When it starts raining, completely lose your ability to drive and act like you've never done it before.
4. Using your turn signals is absolutely prohibited, except in limited circumstances. Like when you're 5 feet from the corner. NEVER when you're making a right turn and someone is waiting to pull out into YOUR lane.
5. Red lights are only TRULY red five seconds after the yellow light goes out.
And ...
Once there were two star Virginia Tech (he he - Go Hoos!) football players that had failed a test, and could not play football in the championship game. So, after a lot of begging from the coach, the teacher finally let the two take the test again. They took the test, and turned it in. The coach and the two students watched carefully over the teacher grading the tests. She checked over the first test, then over the second test. Half way through the second test she stopped and put a great big "F" on both tests. The coach was furious and demanded an explanation. She said that they had cheated. "Why?" the coach asked. The teacher showed him number six. The coach looked at number six on the first test. The answer read "I don't know." The coach said that it didn't prove anything. So, the teacher handed him the second test. The answer read "I don't know either."
Originally published November 14, 2002.
