Southern Sayings
Wild as a peach orchard hog. So buck toothed he could eat corn-on-the-cob through a key hole. Slick as an eel. Slicker than a chased greased hog. Full as a tick. Ol' boy's tough as whit leather. He ran like a scalded dog. Rough as a cob. Just as happy as if he had good sense. Cold as a well digger's tail. So dull he couldn't cut hot butter with a sharp knife. Crazier than a run over dog. Tougher than a one eared alley cat. Faster than greased lightning. Better than snuff, ain't half as dusty. She's limber as a dishrag. Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full o' rocking chairs. So ugly she'd run a dog off a meat wagon. Took off like Moody's goose. As scarce as hen's teeth. Purty as a speckled pup. Done gone and got yankee rich. Sorry as a two dollar watch. So poor he'd have to borrow money to buy water to cry with. Plumb tuckered out. Older than the mountains and got twice as much dust.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
