The Top Ways to Celebrate Spring Internationally
RUSSIA: HOLLAND: VATICAN CITY: ISRAEL: LIECHTENSTEIN: CHERNOBYL: TEHRAN: BAGHDAD: TOKYO: ENGLAND: IRELAND: BOSNIA:
Get off the mile-long line for firewood; get in the mile-long line for umbrellas.
Annual Easter Clog Toss
The Pope presides over the ceremonial casting out the first sinner.
Throw cute little stuffed animals filled with rocks at the Palestinians.
Send annual "we're still a country" notification to the U.N.
Night Parade Of the Glow-In-The-Dark Chickens
Can now attend "Death to America" rally in shorts.
Before inspectors begin their hunt, replace anthrax eggs with slightly less nauseating Cadbury eggs.
Godzilla turns his fancy from a path of destruction to thoughts of love.
Leichester Larry comes out of his flat and smiles. If any teeth are straight, 6 more weeks of rain. Otherwise, 5.5 more weeks of rain.
Swimsuit issue of "Soccer Hooligan Illustrated" hits newsstands.
Annual switch to "Daylight Bombing Time" requires setting your quality of life back another decade.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
