Things I've Learned About Virginia
- Possums will sleep in the road with their feet in the air.
- There are 5000 types of snakes and 4998 of them live in Virginia.
- There are 10000 types of spiders. All 10000 live in Virginia, plus a couple that nobody has seen before. (And they're all in my back yard).
- Squirrels will eat anything.
- Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.
- Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they're ripe.
- If it grows it sticks; if it crawls it bites.
- A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. they do get stuck.
- "Onced" and "twiced" are words.
- It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.
- Fire ants consider your skin a picnic.
- People actually grow and eat okra.
- "Fixinto" is one word.
- There's no such thing as "lunch". There's "dinner" and then there's "supper".
- Sweet tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're 2.
- "Backwards and forwards" means "I know everything about you".
- "Jeet" is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"
Originally published July 22, 2004.
