Tired of your Old State Mottoes?
Tired of your old state mottoes? Here are suggestions for new ones:
Alabama:
Yes, We Have Electricity
Alaska:
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
Arizona:
But It's a Dry Heat
Arkansas:
Litterasy Ain't Everthing
California:
By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda.
Colorado:
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
Connecticut:
Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet
Delaware:
We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida:
Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia:
We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii:
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho:
More Than Just Potatoes... Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois:
Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
Indiana:
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa:
We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas:
First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky:
Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana:
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
Maine:
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland:
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts:
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's
(For Most Tax Brackets)
Michigan:
First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota:
10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi:
Come Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri:
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana:
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, & Very Little Else
Nebraska:
At Least The Cows Are Sane
Nevada:
Strippers, Lounge Lizards, and Poker!
New Hampshire:
Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey:
You Want A STUPID! Motto?
I Got Yer STUPID! Motto Right Here!
New Mexico:
Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York:
You Have The Right To Remain Silent,
You Have The Right To An Attorney...
North Carolina:
Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota:
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio:
At Least We're Not Michigan
Oklahoma:
Like The Play, Only No Singing
Oregon:
Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner
Pennsylvania:
Acceleration Ramps - What's That?
Civil Engineers - Who Needs Them!
Rhode Island:
We're Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina:
Remember The Civil War?
We Didn't Actually Surrender
South Dakota:
Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee:
The Educashun State
Texas:
Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)
Utah:
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont:
Yep
Virginia:
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?
Washington:
Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!
Washington, D.C.:
Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia:
One Big Happy Family...Really!
Wisconsin:
Come Cut The Cheese
Wyoming:
The nation's best beef cattle. Watch where you step.
Originally published August 21, 2004.
