You just may be a "Redneck" if....

...Your answering machine message begins, "If you're calling about the free puppies..."

...Your kids take rabbit sandwiches in their school lunchboxes.

...In preparation for a romantic evening, you stop by the grocery store to buy a bottle of Mr. Bubble.

...All the holes in your jeans came from buckshot and barbed wire fences.

...The recoil pad on your shotgun used to be the cup of your wife's bra.

...Your family reunion was held at a skating rink.

...Every time you rebuild your motor there are a few parts left over.

...You still subscribe to " The Saturday Evening Post ".

...Bambi pickets your shack.

Originally published November 14, 2002.

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