You Know That you Live in California, USA When...
You make over $250,000 a year and still can't afford a house. It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents. Your child's third grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Breeze. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula. You know what arugula is. A really great parking space can move you to tears. The guy in line at Starbucks, wearing the baseball cap, sunglasses, and looks like George Clooney, IS George Clooney. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment. It's sprinkling out, and there's a report on every news channel about "THE STORM!" Two overcast days in a row drives you mad. A family of four owns six vehicles. Everyone who lives here knows that hurricanes, tornadoes, floods and snowstorms are way worse than earthquakes, which are, after all, over almost as soon as you realize what's happening. Even if the store is across the street, you drive there. Question: Answer:
How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
None. Californians cannot afford to turn on the lights.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
