You Know You're a Texas redneck when :

The mosquitoes have landing lights.

You have more miles on your tractor than your car.

You have 10 favorite recipes for Deer meat.

You've taken your kids trick-or-treating when it was 90 degrees outside.

Driving is better after it's rained because the potholes are filled with mud and you don't have to take those backroads to go " mudding."

You owe more money on your bulldozer than your car.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on 1/4 page, but requires 6 pages for local sports.

You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries.

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

Your leaf-blower gets stuck on the roof.

You think the start of Deer season is a national holiday.

You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the coyotes won't prowl on your deck.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

The major county fund-raiser isn't bingo
-it's sausage making.

You find 70 degrees Fahrenheit a little chilly.

The trunk of your car doubles as a sauna.

You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry, and your Cowboy Boots.