You Know You're Born and Raised in a Midwest Small Town When. . .

*You are related to more than half the town.

*You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.

*Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it gets back to town before you do.

*Without thinking, you wave to all oncoming traffic.

*You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.

*You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.

*There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.

*The local gas station sells live bait.

*You go to the State Fair for your family vacation.

*You get up at 5:30 am and go down to the coffee shop.

*You're on a first name basis with the county sheriff.

*You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial.

*All your radio-preset buttons are country.

*Using the elevator involves a grain truck.

*Your mayor is also your garbage hauler, barber, and insurance salesman.

*You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.

*You call the wrong number and talk to the person for an hour anyway.

*Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.

*You know cow pies aren't made of beef.

*You wake up when it's dark and go to bed when it's still light.

*You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon.

*You can tell it's a farmer working late in his field and not a UFO.

*Your nearest neighbor is in the next area code. (or a long distance call)

*You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.

*You know the code names for everyone on the CB. (Hi Junior Momma!)

*You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.

*You wear your boots to church.

*It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.

*You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of feedlot apart.

*The meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him.

*You go to Wal-Mart for your Saturday shopping.

*Your main drag in town is two blocks long.