- You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.
- The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.
- At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.
- The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.
- Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.
- You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
- You head south to go to your cottage.
- You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.
- You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
- The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo it's sausage making.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
