- You can name everyone you graduated with.
- You know what all each H in 4-H stands for.
- You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road.
- You used to drag "main."
- You schedule parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you know which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn't - same goes with the game warden.
- You ever went cow-tipping or snipe hunting.
- School gets cancelled for state events.
- It was cool to date someone from the neighboring town.
- You had senior skip day.
- The whole school went to the same party after graduation.
- You don't give directions by street names or directions by references (turn by Nelson's house, go two blocks east Anderson's, and it's four houses left of the track field).
- The golf course had only 9 holes.
- You can't help but date a friend's ex-girlfriend.
- Your car stays filthy because of the dirt roads, and you will never own a dark vehicle for this reason.
- You think kids that ride skateboards are weird.
- The town next to you is considered "trashy" or "snooty", but is actually just like your town.
- Getting paid minimum wage is considered a raise
- You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the "rich people."
- The people in the city dress funny, then you pick-up on the trend two years later.
- You bragged to your friends because you got pipes on your truck for your birthday.
- Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the feed store.
- You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town.
- Football coaches suggest that you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.
- Directions are given using "the" stop light as a reference.
- The city council meets at the coffee shop.
- Your letter jacket was worn after your 19th birthday.
- You have ever taken a trailer or dog to school on a daily basis.
- Weekend excitement involves a trip to a Wal-Mart.
- Even the ugly people enter beauty pageants.
- You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask if you need a ride.
- Your teachers calls you by your older siblings names.
- Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.
- You can charge at all the local stores.
- The closest McDonald's is 45 miles away.
- So is the closest mall.
- It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn mower.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
