- "Vacation" means going up nort' for the weekend.
- You measure distance in hours.
- You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
- You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again.
- You use a down comforter in the summer -- and gloves.
- You drive at 65 mph through two feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.
- You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
- You think of the major food groups as venison, fish and berries.
- You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
- There are seven empty cars running in the parking lot at the Fleet Farm at any given time.
- You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
- Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
- You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.
- You know all four seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
- You define summer as three months of bad sledding.
- Snow tires come standard on all your cars.
- A brat is something you eat.
- You go out for fish fry every Friday.
- You can recognize someone from Iowa by their driving.
- Formal wear is blue jeans and a baseball cap.
- You drink pop and refer to your dad as pop.
- Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors due to frost.
- You decided to have a picnic this summer because it fell on a weekend.
- You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
- You've seen mosquitoes with landing lights.
- You have more miles on your snow blower than on your car.
- The local paper covers major headlines on one page, but requires four pages for sports.
- Your snow blower gets stuck on the roof.
- You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.
- You find zero degrees a little chilly.
- You actually understand these jokes and you forward them to all of your Minnesota friends.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
