You Might Be From Georgia, USA if....
You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, sweet tea, and jell-O salad with marshmallows. You carry jumper cables in your car... for your OWN car. You know what "cow tipping" is. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent. You can be satisfied with a meal consisting only of a hunk of bread with flavored flour & water (a delicacy known as biscuit n' gravy"). The local paper covers national and international news on one page but requires six pages for sports. You recognize that cheese grits and catfish nuggets is a meal that must have been bestowed upon the people by the Lord Himself. You know which leaves make good toilet paper. You find 90 degrees F "a little warm." You know all 4 seasons: Almost Summer, Summer, Still Summer, and Christmas. You know if another Georgian is from southern, middle, or northern Georgia as soon as they open their mouth. There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good gumbo weather. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda or a cola or a pop-it's a Coke, regardless of brand or flavor. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin' wal-martin'" You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your friends from Georgia.
Originally published November 14, 2002.
