A Test for Potential Sanitation Workers

Here are some sample questions from a multiple choice test for potential sanitation workers:

1. When collecting trash in a residential neighborhood on the midnight to 8 AM shift, you must:

a) Test the strength of each metal trash can by banging it against the truck several times before emptying it.
b) Frequently toot the air horn so that your employers - the taxpayers - know you're hard at work, while they're lazily trying to sleep.
c) As a courtesy to those taxpayers who own motor vehicles, gently bump each parked car, so as to make sure its alarm is set sensitively enough to discourage theft.
d) All the above.

2. When collecting trash between the hours of 8 AM and 6 PM, when city traffic is busiest, you must:

a) Stop your truck in such a way that it blocks the entire street, so that no innocent scattering rats are hit by passing cars.
b) Work quickly and efficiently, unless a vehicle is stuck behind you, in which case slow down as much as possible, as said blocked driver might need time to relax, as he or she is probably working too hard.
c) Under no circumstances make eye contact with or otherwise acknowledge the existence of a blocked driver, as that would pierce the veil of anonymity that all cherish and don't want violated by a mere civil servant.
d) All the above

Originally published November 14, 2002.