Common Forms of Office Illness
The Macy's One Day Sale Flu.
The Drivers License Renewal Appointment 24-Hour Virus.
The Friday-Afternoon-Start-The-Weekend-Early Sudden Unbearable Stomach Pains.
The I'm Looking for a New Job and I Don't Know How Long It's Going to Take, but I Want To Stay On The Payroll Until Then Mysterious Infection.
The My Boyfriend's Got the Week Off So Suddenly I'm Too Contagious To Come In To The Office Disease.
The I Need a Hair Cut and My Stylist Doesn't Make Evening Appointments Bout of Influenza.
The There's No Federal Holidays for Two Months and I Want a Day Off Sickness.
The It's Spring Break and I Want To Pretend I'm a Teenager Again General Ailment.
The I've Messed Up Royally and I Won't Come In To Face the Music Terminal Illness.
Originally published April 15, 2004.
