Los Angeles Police Department Report Phrases. What They Really Mean...

The motorist was operating his vehicle in a reckless manner...
He had a bumper sticker that said "SLOW DOWN--DON'T FEED THE PIGS"

The accident scene and the safety of the victims prevented this officer from doing traffic control...
It was raining.

This officer went out-of-service to obtain intelligence information from a street informant...
It was too hot to ride in the car.

I observed the suspect acting in a suspicious manner...
The dirt-bag let go with an 'Oink' as I drove by.

The members of the press at the scene were offered every courtesy within departmental policies...
I sent them to a non-existent address which I called the 'Command Post'

I gave the motorist a verbal warning for speeding...
She was a good-looking blonde who was free after my shift was over.

Further interview of the witnesses was impossible, due to conditions.
Tonight is my bowling night...