Police Humor
So you thought police officers didn't have a sense of humor....The following were taken off of police car videos around the country.
"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh. Did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."
"The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not.
Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
"Just how big were those two beers?"
"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."
"I'm glad to hear that Sheriff Tom Ariss is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
"You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? ...... You're right, we don't... sign here."
Originally published October 23, 2005.
