Professionals... Defined
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers, but lacks the personality to be an accountant. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time. A mathematician is a blind man, in a dark room, looking for a black cat which isn't there. A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep. A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand. A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children. A topologist is a man who doesn't know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut. An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane. A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief."
Originally published November 14, 2002.
