Resume 2002
OBJECTIVE: EDUCATION: EMPLOYMENT: DEBT CONSOLIDATION (4/97-12/99) COMPUTER SKILLS: HONORS AND AWARDS: For further references, contact my mother. For positive responses, please pose all questions as though you're considering me as a law school applicant.
To sit in a cubicle and stare at a monitor for eight hours, occasionally looking attentive when approached by a superior.
School: Very Expensive Major: Not Important GPA: Don't Ask, Don't Tell
NETWORK MANAGEMENT (9/96-Present) Produced daily itinerary of television programs to watch. Duties included changing channels, avoiding infomercials, and staying tuned after those "important" messages.
Using various tools such as credit cards and borrowed cash, I managed to combine groups of unpaid bills into one monthly bill that goes straight to my father.
*Solitaire
*Minesweeper
*On/Off Repair Method
*First Place in Miller Lite Funnel Tournament
*Said Toast at brother's wedding
*High Score on Theta Chi's Pin Ball Machine
Originally published November 14, 2002.
