Things You Would Love to Say at Work, but just can't ...

Do I look like a people person?

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door 1?

Too many freaks. Not enough circuses.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

How do I set a laser printer to stun?