Who Says That Cops Don't Have A Sense Of Humor?
"Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."
"Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."
"If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
"Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second?" (In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun.)
"So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"
"Yes Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh ... did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"
"Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."
"In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."
"I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."
Originally published November 14, 2002.
