Working Man Blues
My first job was working in an orange juice factory,
but I got canned ... couldn't concentrate.
Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack,
but I just couldn't hack it, so ...they gave me the ax.
After that I tried to be a tailor,
but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because ...it was a so-so job.
Next I tried working in a muffler factory,
but that ...was exhausting.
I wanted to be a barber, but
...I just couldn't cut it.
Then I tried to be a chef -- figured it would add a little spice to my life,
but I just ...didn't have the thyme.
I attempted to be a deli worker,
but any way I sliced it, I...couldn't cut the mustard.
My best job was being a musician,
but eventually I found ...I wasn't noteworthy.
I studied a long time to become a doctor,
but I...didn't have any patients.
Next was a job in a shoe factory;
I tried but I ...just didn't fit in.
I became a professional fisherman,
but discovered that I ...couldn't live on my net income.
Thought about becoming a witch,
so I ...tried that for a spell.
I managed to get a good job working for a pool-maintenance company,
but the work was ...just too draining.
I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes,
but I was fired because I ...wasn't up to it.
So then I got a job in a fitness-center,
but they said I ...wasn't fit for the job.
Next, I found being an electrician interesting,
but the work was shocking and I ...was discharged.
After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was ...no future in it.
My last job was working at Starbucks,
but I had to quit because it ...was always the same old grind.
SO I RETIRED AND I FOUND I'M A PERFECT FIT FOR THIS JOB!
Originally published November 05, 2004.
