10. Invite him to find pleasure in you.
Slide 10 of 10
In Song of Songs 4:16, the new bride says: “Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits.” This young, obviously confident bride invited her husband to find pleasure in her. There is nothing more appealing to a husband than for his own wife to initiate lovemaking and that happens when you and I are confident in who we are, confident we are loved, and confident we won’t be rejected.
In Song of Songs 7:1-9, Solomon gives a detailed description of his bride from the sandals on her feet to the hair on top of her head. Some commentators believe she might have been dancing before him as he compiled this description.
Now you might be thinking If I were a young bride with a lean flat stomach and looked like her, yeah, I’d dance before my husband. But perhaps you aren’t comfortable with your husband inspecting you from head to toe. Or maybe he’s made a remark in the past that has you feeling self-conscious. I realize it is ingrained in us by our culture (and perhaps by some past wounds, too) to not be an “object” before any man and to be offended at any reference to your body being a point of visual pleasure for your husband. Yet, please remember something: You are his for life – the only woman your husband can gaze upon and enjoy with a right heart before God.
Think about it. If your husband looks at anyone else the way he is allowed by God to look at you, he will be committing adultery in his heart. So, let him feast his eyes on you. Allow him to enjoy what he sees by taking the best care of yourself that you can, by dressing nicely, smelling pleasantly, and looking at him with eyes that you once had for him. Perhaps as you begin to look at him the way you once did, he will return that look the way he once did.
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Cindi McMenamin is a national speaker and author of 17 books who has been married 30 years to a pastor and introvert. Her newest book, 12 Ways to Experience More with Your Husband, released Feb. 1 from Harvest House Publishers, and will help you diffuse the tension and heat up the passion in your marriage. Grab it at a special introductory sale price today or find more resources to strengthen your walk with God, your marriage, or your parenting, at her website: www.StrengthForTheSoul.com.