Graduation season is upon us! Along with the empty nests comes the sending of our kids off into the world. Our parental memories come in heavy this time of year as we remember babies in onesies, toddlers gripping our finger to balance on little legs, elementary-aged kiddos riding bicycles too big for them, and teenagers asking for the car keys. Where did time go? It flew by, that’s what, and now we’re planning graduation parties.
With adulthood staring down many of our teens, the reality of them being on their own also becomes very blatant. They’re going to be financially independent (we hope!), within their careers, social lives, and spiritual lives.
Have you prepared your teens for spiritual independence, and what does that even entail?
Let’s break it down into some points that you can put into play even if your teen has only a few weeks of high school left on their calendar:
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1. Encourage Critical Thinking
1. Encourage Critical Thinking
The world seems to be increasingly lacking in this area, which is why we must teach our teens how to think critically. One of the ways you can do this is by asking more questions and giving answers. Challenge your teen with deep questions, make statements that cause them to stop and stare at you, and then ask them why they agree or disagree with it.
It's important to teach them how to take logical steps to reach a conclusion and how to remove emotion from their critical thinking. This is a time when they can learn that being challenged doesn’t have to be interpreted as a personal offense or attack. Instead, it’s a time to build intellectual and, yes, spiritual muscles.
Some key questions to incorporate in any conversation are: How does that conclusion align with Scripture? Does Scripture support that statement? Why do you believe that? What evidence do you have to support your statement?
Critical thinking will help prepare them to make spiritual decisions logically and thoughtfully. It will also help to safeguard them from the pitfall of a customized Christianity, where a belief system is tailored to one’s preferences instead of by Scripture and supporting common sense.
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2. Encourage and Example Spiritual Habits
2. Encourage and Example Spiritual Habits
This is a big one. It’s natural for us to teach our teens self-discipline and work ethic when it comes to job commitments, academic standards, athletic pursuits, and artistic prowess. But all too often, in the urgency to achieve success in life, we miss the critical elements to excel in an intimate relationship with Christ.
As parents, we need to encourage spiritual practices in our teens, not just encourage them, but practice them.
- Regular time in Scripture.
- Educational time to hone our theology and apologetical beliefs through books, podcasts, and sound teaching.
- Immersing ourselves in Biblically-sound entertainment within music, books, and film.
- Prayer and active listening to the Lord.
- Daily incorporation of seeking the Lord’s will and insight into our decisions.
- Devotion to the church and the body of Christ.
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3. Teach Them to Serve
3. Teach Them to Serve
In the age of entitlement and generations who are “owed” something, now is the time to teach your child how to serve others sacrificially. This can be done through daily living and showing it yourself, but you can also look for ways to get your teen involved in service work and ministry opportunities.
Look for events your youth group or ministry may be hosting. Many of them will have summer mission trips or service trips. Churches often organize service projects within the community, but even outside the church, there are often community opportunities to serve. Get your teen involved in roadside clean-up, yardwork for shut-ins, or even—gasp—helping out a sibling with their own list of things that need to be done.
Along the lines of service, it’s also a great time to teach your teen to have a spirit of giving. This means of their talents, their time, and even their finances. Point to the walking example we have of self-sacrificial service in Jesus. How Jesus reached out and ministered to the unpopular, the unwanted, and the unworthy. These valuable lessons will help your teen continue to grow in their faith long after graduation and will help set them apart in testimony and life.
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4. Please Include Them in Big Decisions
4. Please Include Them in Big Decisions
We often try to shield our kids from the realities of life. But as they get older, bringing them into the decision-making process is not a bad idea. Oftentimes, you may have lengthy discussions with your spouse about financial implications, family implications, time implications, and so on. Still, one thing we, as believers, also consider is what the Lord may have in mind for us. We are putting into practice seeking His will, and that’s not always a straightforward and easy process. That’s why bringing your teens into this time is essential, too. While it is, for the most part, free of consequences for them, since you carry the bulk of the weight, they can have an opportunity to give their input, be part of praying for guidance, and see how you go about finding out what the Lord would have you do.
This is invaluable experience! As they head into their own lives, they will be faced with life-changing decisions, and if they’ve never witnessed or taken part in making them before, how will they go about making them now?
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5. Let Them Go
5. Let Them Go
This may be the most challenging part of preparing your teen for their faith walk after graduation. Letting them go while they’re still home often goes against our instincts as parents. It’s hard enough to let them go after graduation while they’re still in our homes. But they also need to begin to experience our trust now and have a safe place to fall if needed. As we let them go bit by bit, they will have to make decisions that will impact them spiritually, and if you begin the letting-go process now, you will have a more likely chance to be a part of helping guide them through the first series of big decisions.
What a privilege to let go and let God assume full parenthood over our children. Yet, He has also given us a role to be there and to nurture our children into adulthood and a closer relationship with Him.
So while it can be fearsome, letting them go can be the greatest gift we give them as they come into their own lives and walk with Christ.
Take a moment to step back from your teenagers today. They all have different needs, personalities, interests, and ways of processing life. Now is the time to consider that you are preparing them to be the next generation of faith-filled believers. Ask yourself what you wish you had known about your relationship with the Lord before being on your own. How can you take those lessons and pass them along to your teenager now?
Lastly—and it’s pretty much an obvious given—but the other way to prepare your child for their faith walk after graduation is to pray for them. Pray for their heart and their spirit, for their minds to be protected from lies, and for them to have the ability to discern what is good, pure, holy, and pleasing to the Lord.
Proverbs 22:6 - Start children off on the way they should go,
And even when they are old, they will not turn from it.
Pay attention and turn your ear to the sayings of the wise;
Apply your heart to what I teach,
18 for it is pleasing when you keep them in your heart
And have all of them ready on your lips.
19 So that your trust may be in the Lord,
I teach you today, even you.
Your teenager may not realize what is coming down the road. And while yes, God has plans for them, that road will have its ruts and crevices. You know this. You know that they need to be prepared and equipped. So, dear parent, don’t wait to regret your inattentiveness to this once they are gone. Begin now. Prioritize spiritual preparation with as much dedication and urgency as you do their GPAs, extracurricular activities, internships, and relationships. Because, while they can’t take any of that with them into eternity, they will take their faith. They will be the ones to teach our next generations to carry the faith forward. Have you taught them well?
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Originally published April 30, 2025.
