Thirteen years ago, I brought home my first precious bundle of joy. I remember the first time I needed to set him down at home to accomplish a task, I felt torn. How could I even let him sit in that baby bouncy seat when I thought he should be in my arms permanently? Before meeting my child, I had no idea how motherhood would completely change my life; more than that, how it would transform who I was and who I wanted to become. I had no idea that leaving him to go to work would feel something akin to chopping off my arm and then going on with my day, but I did it for those first few years because I didn’t see another way.
Over those first years, I lifted a quiet prayer to the Lord asking to show me how to be more present with my kids, especially during those vulnerable young years. Honestly, there are many barriers to having a parent stay home. Supporting a family on one salary isn’t easy. I felt a lot of pressure to contribute and accomplish as a young woman. So much of my identity was wrapped up in achieving, and stepping back to stay home took a lot of time for me to accept. Who was I if I wasn’t achieving in the workplace?
Nonetheless, my raw, unfiltered desire was to be home, invested in the people God has given me to love. It’s the most challenging job I’ve ever been called to do, but I haven’t regretted a day of my life dialed into our home base.
1. You Can Make it Work Financially
1. You Can Make it Work Financially
One of the most significant barriers to being a stay-at-home mom is money. In most cases, affording one parent to be home takes some sacrifice and creative budgeting. Sometimes, it can take years of planning to get to a point where you can cut back.
During our early years of parenthood, we made many sacrifices to be present with our kids. We sold our house in favor of a tiny, inexpensive one. We both worked opposite hours and extra part-time jobs so one parent could be home while the other worked. We saved no money and lived on a strict budget. There were no vacations and simple dinners, but everyone had just what they needed.
Affording to be home may look like giving up parts of your life that you’ve become accustomed to in exchange for a richer family life, but I promise the years are short, and the time together is far more valuable than extra comforts. Prayer was the starting point for finding how to make it work for us. God revealed the things we could let go of, the side jobs we could work that were more family-friendly and provided just what we needed. We had to be content with less, but seriously, the best memories live in that season of new motherhood.
2. You Desire to Be with Your Kids
2. You Desire to Be with Your Kids
Motherhood is lived out in many ways, and I love that this is true. As I’ve parented my kids, it has varied dramatically. Some were home with me from the beginning, some started daycare at 3 months old, others have been in preschool since 2, and some I’ve homeschooled the whole way through. As parents, we must be sensitive to the Holy Spirit and his leading for each child we are blessed to parent. Most of the time, life does not supply a one-size-fits-all solution for each of our kids and the needs we are responsible for in our homes.
Additionally, as women, we can fully love our kids and feel called to invest in a career that takes us out of our homes. Sometimes, parenting can be more challenging, and being with our kids 24/7 could be more than we can handle. It’s okay to rely on a village.
Many women truly desire to be with their children, particularly during those vital young years, and that is a beautiful desire you should feel proud to embrace. God did not give us kids or a maternal instinct for no reason. Our kids benefit from our love and togetherness, and that’s just the truth.
If you feel your heart longing to be home as much as possible, that’s a good and noble calling. It took me many years to realize this and embrace the beauty in the work I’ve been given. I had to quiet the negative voices that said I wasn’t doing enough if I wasn’t the top earner in our home. Not to mention, the job of full-time parenting is tough. I had to pep talk myself to stay present despite the sometimes endless feeling days. Hard things are often the best things in life, and I’ve found that to be very true as a full-time parent.
Photo credit: ©Getty/MoMo-Productions
3. Your Child or Family Is in a High-Need Season
3. Your Child or Family Is in a High-Need Season
There are so many situations that parenthood brings on that require more than the after-work hours. Sometimes our kids need more of us; if we can give that to them, we should. Our sixth baby, whom we are fostering, was born with extensive medical needs. There is no way that her caregiver could hold a full-time job and provide the support she needs. She has weekly therapies, appointments, and daily medications and needs constant monitoring for health complications. She needs an invested caregiver who can dedicate significant portions of time to ensuring she has the support she needs.
Babies aren’t always the only ones who need us to be home so they can heal and thrive. If your child is struggling in school, they may need to come home with you for a period to grow and heal. If your child has endured a trauma or loss, more time at home may be just what they need to feel safe. Unexpected medical needs can require parents to step back from their work so their child can recover.
If you see that your family is in a high-stress season, taking a leave from work, or even quitting your job, can be the best way to support your family for the time being. Our priorities should put God first, then family, and finally career third. All matter, but there can be real reasons for us to sacrifice some of our career and financial gains to be more physically present in our homes.
4. God Is Leading You to Invest in Your Children by Being Home
4. God Is Leading You to Invest in Your Children by Being Home
Parenthood is a holy calling, and how we live that calling out is unique for every father and mother. There is no perfect way to parent, and comparison can easily lead us away from what God desires for our homes. We have to seek God to find peace in shepherding our kids’ hearts best, and for some of us, God may be calling us to invest in our children by being home with them.
We need to lead our families with the end in mind. What are our hopes and dreams for our families? Who do we want our children to become as adults? What do we want their education to look like? What kinds of relationships do we want to be central to their lives? How do we want to participate in their character formation?
These questions can help guide us as we seek God’s wisdom on how to lead our children best. God is faithful in opening the right doors for our families when we diligently seek his guidance as parents. It’s our job to trust him as we take steps of faith for our families. He promises that if we trust him, he will make our paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Photo credit: ©Getty Images/Halfpoint
Originally published June 20, 2025.
