Day 13: Jesus is Accessibly Affectionate

His disciples stared at one another, at a loss to know which of them he meant. One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. Simon Peter motioned to this disciple and said, “Ask him which one he means.” Leaning back against Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, who is it?” JOHN 13:22–25 NIV, EMPHASIS MINE

Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved was following them. (This was the one who had leaned back against Jesus at the supper and had said, “Lord, who is going to betray you?”) JOHN 21:20 NIV, EMPHASIS MINE

IN 1944, A MEDICAL experiment was conducted at a research hospital on forty newborn infants to determine whether individuals could thrive alone on basic physiological needs without affection.12 Twenty newborn infants were housed in a special facility where they had caregivers who would go in to feed them, bathe them, and change their diapers, but they would do nothing else. The caregivers had been instructed not to look at or touch the babies more than what was necessary, never communicating with them. All their physical needs were attended to scrupulously and the environment was kept sterile, none of the babies becoming ill.

The experiment was halted after four months, by which time, at least half of the babies had died at that point. At least two more died even after being rescued and brought into a more natural familial environment. There was no physiological cause for the babies’ deaths; they were all physically very healthy. However, before each baby died, there was a period where they would stop verbalizing and trying to engage with their caregivers; generally stop moving, crying, or even changing expression, and death would follow shortly. The babies who had “given up” before being rescued died in the same manner, even though they had been removed from the experimental conditions.

The conclusion of this callous experiment was that physical touch is absolutely vital for humans. Whether we’re cognizant of it or not, we all need physical connection and the emotional experience of being embraced by another.

Of course, some people will argue that to hope for God to “hold us” is a foolish notion because it ascribes human traits to a divine being, or because it’s too emotive. But I beg to differ because the Gospels are crammed full of examples where Jesus touched people with affection and embraced His friends and followers. As a matter of fact, in John 13 we read about John the Beloved (who refers to himself as “the one Jesus loved” five times in his Gospel account) leaning back against Jesus at the Last Supper when he was just a teenager. As a matter a fact, according to Jewish tradition, it was his youth which allowed him to quiz Jesus in the first place because ceremony dictated that the youngest person present at the Passover meal asks the questions. Then at the end of John’s Gospel in chapter 21, in the very place where an author typically listed his credentials to prove the legitimacy of the text, John avoids his credentials and instead describes himself as the one who leaned against Jesus. Most scholars think John wrote his Gospel account in his latter years, when he was in his sixties. Which means that this physical embrace with Jesus, which happened approximately FORTY YEARS earlier, is what defined him!

Unfortunately, unlike John the Beloved, far too many of us now emulate the posture of most folks in Jerusalem back then, whom Jesus described as hesitant to being held:

“Jerusalem, Jerusalem, who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her. How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing!” (Luke 13:34, emphasis mine)

We were created to be held by God; instead, we settle for a brief pat on the back from a coworker or a wave from another driver in the car pool line.

We were created to be heard by God; instead, we settle for a few likes on social media.

We were created to be healed by God; instead, we settle by medicating ourselves with busyness, alcohol, fast food, or binge-watching our favorite show.

I wonder how many times a day Jesus affectionately leans toward me, yet I foolishly arch away into distracted isolation. How about you?

• WITH REGARD to your relationship with Jesus, would you describe yourself as more independent and “hesitant to being held” or more like the apostle John, who leaned fully into Jesus’s embrace?
• WHEN IS THE last time you felt held by Jesus?