As in her first marriage, Judy called me day and night with stories about the cruel things her husband said and did to her. I urged her to consider her children’s welfare, if not her own.

I felt helpless, and I kept pleading with Judy, telling her to go to a therapist or visit with a pastor, but she refused. I didn’t know what to do to help her, other than to listen.

Since her second divorce, anger has been Judy’s constant companion and has damaged her ability to trust people. I still pray for her every day, but she seems unwilling to forgive and to release her pain. So far she hasn’t turned the situation over to God and asked Him to heal her. Instead she has chosen the path of bitterness.

The dictionary defines anger as a strong feeling of displeasure and belligerence aroused by a wrong. If we have been wronged in any way, we need to ask God to help us forgive those who inflicted the hurt. This doesn’t excuse the harm or abuse others caused us, but it allows us to find freedom in spite of their actions.

In Ecclesiastes 7:9 we are told, “Don’t let your spirit rush to be angry, for anger abides in the heart of fools.” God knows the hurts we bear, and He wants to help us. We need to be willing to admit to Him that we cannot do it on our own.