When one of Heather’s friends spotted Brad getting cozy with another woman in a corner booth at a restaurant, she reluctantly decided to tell Heather. Brad seemed repentant and promised her it would never happen again, so she gave him another chance.

Over the next several years, Heather and Brad had two daughters. He also had several girlfriends during that time, including one who was pregnant with his child. “I just can’t take it anymore,” Heather cried to me one evening. “Some people say I should stay with Brad for the sake of the girls, but what kind of a message does that send them about staying with a man who refuses to be faithful? How can I teach them to value themselves if I don’t respect myself enough to care how he treats me?”

Since Brad refused to go to counseling with Heather, she had to face the fact that her marriage was over. She began seeing a Christian counselor who helped her deal with her anger, rejection, and insecurity. It’s been a long ordeal for her, but as she forgives, she also heals.

Whether we feel a person deserves our forgiveness, it is in our best interest to forgive them. Harboring bitterness and unforgiveness puts a barrier between God and us.

Peter probably thought he was being generous when he asked Jesus if he should forgive someone who had wronged him seven times (Matt. 18:21). But the Lord gave Peter a surprising answer: “70 times seven” (v. 22). In other words, keep forgiving. But be aware that forgiving the offender doesn’t mean you must reconcile. Behavior that is abusive and unacceptable should not be tolerated.