“You know that ruling is too stiff, Maggie. And it’s not fair that both kids have a birthday in the same month.”

“I understand, but you’ll have to celebrate Jacob’s birthday next month.” Maggie wanted to extend grace to Dave, but she knew the time for that had passed. Because of his unpredictable anger she could no longer give mercy where her children were concerned. She would show Dave respect, but she would not let him push her when it came to the kids.

“The kids will see you in a couple of weeks,” Maggie said.

Healthy and well-established boundaries are necessary for any relationship but all the more important in relationships with dangerous or difficult people. Jesus’ parable of the wheat and tares in Matthew 13:24–30 states that all of us must live and work side by side with people who live contrary to God’s ways. Sometimes we don’t even have the option of distancing ourselves from them because we are irreversibly linked. But we can establish appropriate boundaries for our safety.

Many people feel guilty about enforcing boundaries. But in Paul’s second letter to the Thessalonians, he urged them to insist on proper behavior from one another (3:6–15). If you are in a relationship with a difficult person, seek godly guidance or professional help in establishing proper boundaries. If abuse is involved, get help as soon as possible.