“Again?” Pam asked. “Isn’t this the third time in a row? Why do you go out with him?”

Shelly replied, “I go out with him because he’s very spiritual.”

Pam said, “Spiritual isn’t the same thing as Christian. The Dalai Lama is spiritual. Buddha was spiritual. Dan treats you like he doesn’t know the Lord at all. He breaks dates and makes hurtful comments about your weight.”

Shelly was silent for a moment and then said, “I know he has his faults, but everybody does. He sings praise songs with such emotion. He’s even talking about going on a mission trip.”

“None of that matters if he doesn’t know and love Jesus. Where is the fruit that reflects a growing relationship with the Lord?”

“But I met him at church!” Shelly protested, tears gathering. Pam said softly, “Just because you meet a guy at church doesn’t make him a Christian. Some of the people in the singles group are just there to meet people—not to put God first. It shouldn’t be that way, but unfortunately it is. We have to be as savvy and discerning in our singles group as anywhere else.”

Some people come to singles groups just to find a date or a mate and will do whatever is necessary, even donning a religious mask, to attract other singles. Don’t assume a man is a Christian just because you meet him at church. Be sure his life reflects what he says he believes, and be sensitive to the Spirit’s leading. If he doesn’t walk the talk, run the other way. A life yoked with an unbeliever will always be difficult (see 2 Cor. 6:14).