First I tried simple requests. “Honey,” I’d say, “would you please take the trash down to the dumpster?” Michael would agree, but then he’d forget it and leave it by the front door. Instead of taking care of it myself, I’d leave it just to see if he would notice it when he came home from work. He didn’t.

When I realized that subtle hints weren’t working, I turned to sarcasm. “Are you waiting for the trash to sprout wings and fly itself out to the dumpster?” I’d ask.

“Stop getting so uptight, Shannon. I’ll get it the next time I go out.”

I was speechless. I didn’t understand how someone could be so relaxed and carefree about things. When I looked around our apartment and saw how much needed to be done, I was frustrated. Didn’t Michael understand how much these things bothered me? Then I felt the Lord gently persuading me to pray. I began to realize that the problem was not Michael but my unrealistic expectations and my disrespectful attitude.

It’s human nature to want others to behave as we would. Sometimes our expectations are unspoken, which sets our loved ones up for failure. Or we may resort to sarcasm, which is often met with resistance or resentment. Jesus said in John 15:12, “Love one another as I have loved you.” That means faults and all. We need to focus on becoming the women God wants us to be—conduits of His love.