Marie held up her hands. “What do you mean he isn’t able to pay? He’s required by the court to pay child support.”

Stephanie felt a strange need to protect her ex-husband’s reputation, not wanting anyone to think of him as a deadbeat dad. “Greg lost his job.”

“I hope you’re keeping track of what he owes.”

“I did at first. Then God helped me see that Greg isn’t purposely holding out on us. He honestly can’t pay. If we were still married, we would have to think of ways to cut back. So that’s what I’m doing. I’m sorry, Marie. We don’t want to leave, but if it’s between school tuition and groceries . . . ”

“I understand,” Marie said. Then she opened a desk drawer and pulled out a folder. “Tell you what. Instead of leaving, fill out a scholarship application. When I explain your situation, I’m sure the board will approve it.”

Many divorced couples find themselves in situations where a job loss makes child support payments difficult if not impossible. What is the correct thing to do when the situation is “he can’t” instead of “he won’t”? While it might be tempting to judge or offer advice on how to take action, perhaps the better question is how can you offer support without opening the door for long-term enabling? Ask God to help you plan in advance for how you will respond to such a crisis as well as how you will keep yourself reminded of His promises to provide.