“Nothing. I haven’t told him.”

“Lena, you need to tell him.”

“Why? So he can make a bigger deal about it than it is? It’s not like I plan to get back together with my first boyfriend. He just wants to catch up, like my other friends from high school.”

Candice stopped in front of the entrance. “Sorry, I know I sound like a nag. It’s just that Mike and I are working through some problems in our marriage, and they all started with us being dishonest.”

“I’m not being dishonest. I’m just not telling him about a friendship I know would upset him.”

Candice offered her friend one bit of advice. “I keep myself in check by thinking of situations this way—if I feel the need to hide it from my husband, then I shouldn’t be doing it.”

Proverbs 4:24 says, “Don’t let your mouth speak dishonestly.” Withholding certain kinds of information can be a form of dishonesty. You’re right, your husband probably doesn’t want to hear every detail of your day, but he deserves to know if you’ve connected with an old boyfriend on Facebook or you’ve racked up a large credit card bill. Anything you would want him to share with you probably qualifies as something to disclose.

When we’re tempted to let small deceptions creep into our marriage, perhaps we should consider how the sins that tear so many couples apart begin. Adultery, addictions to gambling and pornography, compulsive spending—all begin and feed off deception. And face it—you can’t have a healthy marriage without a foundation of mutual trust.