Day 20: Shoo Fly, Shoo

Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable—if there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8

A few years ago I was carpooling to a social event with a few friends and acquaintances, and one of them kept complaining the entire trip. I didn’t know her well but had heard she was a bit of a negative Nancy, so after a while, I just joined in with the other girls and mumbled non-committal “mmm hmmms” to her whiny and exhausting glass-is-just-so-so-so-half-empty declarations.

If the traffic doesn’t thin out, we’re going to be late. Mmm. Hmmm.

If that car in the next lane gets any closer, he’s going to ram us. Mmm. Hmmm.

If it gets any hotter, I’m going to break out in a heat rash. Mmm. Hmmm.

If they don’t have lactose-free options tonight, I’m either going to starve or have terrible gas. Mmm. Hmmm.

If the stock market gets any more volatile, there will be a global financial crisis. Mmm. Hmmm.

If she swerves again, I’m going to throw up—

This was the point where I couldn’t take her Eeyore-isms any longer, so I said something along the lines of, “Mind over matter usually works for me, so maybe if you don’t think about being carsick you won’t feel nauseous.” I even said it with a smile. But I may as well have said, “You are a horrible creature with a really big bottom and we’re all wishing we could pull over and dump you out on the side of the interstate right about now because you’re getting on our collective last nerve.” Because she gave me a withering look and then retorted snidely, “Well, excuse me, Lisa, but I wasn’t born all happy-go-lucky like you.”

I so wanted to snap back, “Baby, my happy has nothing to do with luck. I’ve worked my tail off for this joy!” However, I didn’t want to risk being punched in the nose, so I just thought it very quietly to myself.

The truth is, no one’s happiness is based on luck if their joy is genuine. Happy is not the result of happenstance. It’s not a fluke or an accident nor is it largely dependent on our circumstances. And, as it turns out, this isn’t just something the Bible shows us. Science agrees, too! Research reveals that only 10 percent of our happiness is connected to our circumstances, 50 percent of it is linked to genetic factors and temperament, and the other 40 percent is entirely within our control because it’s determined by our choices, thoughts, and behavior.6

Did you get that? ALMOST HALF OF THE DETERMINING FACTORS FOR HAPPINESS ARE REGULATED BY ME AND YOU! Goodnight, y’all . . . that means even if your hair is chemically dependent, your metabolism has slowed to a crawl, and your online dating algorithms are all whacked out and you keep being matched with men who are unemployed and live in their mother’s basement (I’m just going out on a limb here and speaking metaphorically, of course), you can still choose to be joyful! Our thought-life doesn’t have to be the boss of us!

Frankly, if we’ve put our hope in Jesus Christ, our thought-life is under the authority of the Holy Spirit. That doesn’t mean every single thing that sails through that space between our ears will be sacred, but listen, we don’t have to be controlled by pessimism, cynicism, or fear either! As the old adage says: “You can’t stop the birds from flying over your head, but you can keep them from making a nest in your hair.”

• Would your friends and family describe you as a glass-is-half-full or glass-is-half-empty kind of person?
• What most tempts you to focus on the negative things? How does it encourage you to know that being happy is actually well within your own control?
• How could your life look different if your words and thoughts focused primarily on “whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable”?