Day 38: Red-faced and Red-handed

For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh. For the desire to do what is good is with me, but there is no ability to do it. Romans 7:18

A few weeks ago I was driving down a country road near our house, humming a worship chorus off-key, while Missy sang along in perfect pitch, sounding every bit as good as the voice on the radio (not that I’m biased or anything) from the backseat. Suddenly I thought, Hmmmm, I never noticed that weird sound in this song before? because just then I began to hear a kind of high-pitched keening over the sound of my daughter’s melodic voice. It took me a few seconds to realize it was a state trooper with his blue lights flashing behind me! I’m not normally a fast driver, so I rarely get pulled over, but when I do, I get flustered. I think my anxiety stems from watching a Charlie’s Angels episode when I was in middle school about a crooked sheriff who planted drugs in Farrah’s trunk after pulling her over.

Anyway, when the officer walked up to my window, lowered his sunglasses, and asked in a slow, disapproving drawl, “Do you have any idea what you were doing back there, ma’am?”, I blurted out nervously, “No, sir, but I’m sure it was bad!” Long story short, he ended up being very nice and graciously let me off with a warning since I wasn’t going that much over the speed limit. But my shrill confession—I’m sure it was bad!—had me rolling my eyes at myself for the rest of the day!

I bear a striking resemblance to Paul’s self-portrait: What I don’t understand about myself is that I decide one way, but then I act another, doing things I absolutely despise (Rom. 7:15 The Message). So for me repentance isn’t just the singular act of confessing that I did something ungodly and need my heavenly Father’s forgiveness for that specific sin; it’s the continual awareness that I will always do ungodly things without His guidance and correction and the transformative power of the Holy Spirit. It’s my uninterrupted plea for sanctification. It’s my moment-by-moment spiritual mea culpa. It’s the life-rope I’ve attached to God’s holiness so I won’t drift away from the awesome destiny He’s designed especially for me. It’s the position of humility that keeps me happily secure under His protective wings. It’s the daily, proverbial Post-It note reminding me that only God is the sovereign ruler of the universe and He doesn’t need my input. It’s my road to personal revival, as well as I believe the only route to corporate revival (2 Chron. 7:14). And for me, repentance doesn’t always express itself in head-bowed, red-faced penance before Jesus either. In fact, more often than not it’s expressed with a head-bobbing, happy dance because I’m so overjoyed by the intimacy repentance affords me with the King of all kings!

• How would you describe the feeling of divine forgiveness that has followed your repentance?
• Do you repent often in your daily walk with God? Why or why not?
• What holds you back from using the gift of repentance that God has granted us all?