Day 46: Hurling Love Right Back

The one who says he is in the light but hates his brother or sister is in the darkness until now. The one who loves his brother or sister remains in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him. But the one who hates his brother or sister is in the darkness, walks in the darkness, and doesn’t know where he’s going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes. 1 John 2:9–11

Several years ago, I sold Missy’s favorite motorcycle, which was a huge yellow Honda with an “adoption rocks” sidecar, personalized just for her. I sold it because one day while we were cruising down a country road, two young men in a truck flying a large rebel flag from their tailgate pulled up next to us and started hurling not only Coke cans at us, but expletives with the “n” word.

I stared straight ahead and slowed down, praying they’d pass us quickly, especially in light of how vulnerable we were on a motorcycle. Instead, they veered directly in front of us, forcing me to crash our motorcycle into the ditch. By the grace of God, we weren’t physically injured, but I knew my little girl’s heart was deeply wounded. So as soon as we were able to get the bike out of the ditch and limp home, I sat her in front of me on the couch and said, “Baby, I want to talk to you about what just happened with those guys in the truck.” She replied with sad bewilderment, “Why were they so mean to us, Mama?”

She was only six. I thought I’d have more time to explain the ugly and evil reality of racism. A lump formed in my throat as I took both of her tiny hands in mine and said, “Honey, some people have really little lives. They only hang around with other people who look like them and talk like them and think like them. And sometimes, when you choose to live a really little life, your heart and mind get smaller too because they don’t have room to grow.”

I was then going to warn my beautiful Haitian daughter about how we need to be prepared and alert when we find ourselves in certain, potentially dangerous environments, but she interrupted me and exclaimed brightly, “I know what we need to do, Mama, we need to help their hearts get bigger!”

I’ve had to have many more similar, increasingly candid, conversations about prejudice, bigotry, and xenophobia with Missy in the years since that terrible day due to the national and world events she sees on television and even what she overhears in school. But the good news is Missy’s philosophy hasn’t wavered. She continually encourages me to help shriveled hearts get bigger. Somehow my kid sees what some adults and even a contingency of the church seems blind to. That is: hating other image-bearers—even the ones who hate you—is the antithesis of the Gospel.

• How intentional are you about loving people who don’t look, talk, think, or even worship like you?
• How do you usually handle the moments when hatred is hurled at you?
• How did Jesus help your shriveled heart get bigger? What might it look like for you, like Him, to help someone else’s shriveled heart get bigger?