Day 52: Sometimes Group Hugs Hurt

“If the world hates you, understand that it hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own. However, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of it, the world hates you. Remember the word I spoke to you: ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours.” John 15:18–20

I was in a church setting recently where a female leader asked all the moms to stand up. Then she proclaimed in a sing-song tone how wonderful it was that we had husbands who worked hard so that we could all stay home and focus on raising our children. After which, she asked all the “hubbies” to stand up and lay hands on their “wifeys” in prayer. It took every shred of discipline I have not to bellow over the crowd of bowed heads that I’ve been praying for a baby daddy who would love my adopted daughter with all his heart and lay his hands all over me for a long time, but it just hasn’t happened yet!

Strong Christian women—whether we’re homeschool moms, Harvard-educated attorneys, or both—need to understand that not-fitting-in is part of our job description. The world, and sometimes even the prevailing Christian culture we’re plopped in, won’t necessarily agree with—much less applaud—the game plan God has given us personally to carry out. But we must do it anyway. Because godly obedience isn’t about being patted on the back or enveloped in a group hug. Plus, this supernatural love story called the Bible makes it crystal clear that homogeny and popularity are both overrated.

In fact, there are multiple passages in the Old Testament and New Testament describing God’s people as aliens, strangers, or sojourners in this world. In other words, we aren’t supposed to fit! We’re supposed to reflect the steadfast character of Christ—not the cheesy paradigm of perky church ladies nor the fleeting inclinations of pop culture.

Plus, don’t forget Jesus wasn’t the kind of social butterfly who tried to win the admiration or belonging of every room He entered, either. In fact, more of His thirty-three years on this planet were spent as an outsider, not an insider.

• Where do you feel most like an outsider in Christian subculture?
• Where might God be calling you that risks your sense of belonging to the “in crowd” of certain social circles?
• Why do you think Jesus didn’t need the approval of these sorts of social circles?