Day 77: God Doesn’t Call Audibles

“Because I, the Lord, have not changed, you descendants of Jacob have not been destroyed.” Malachi 3:6

Since I’m in my early fifties I’m in the midst of drastic change. For instance, I’ve recently discovered I’ve been blessed with the gift of projective perspiration. My disloyal lady parts leapfrogged right over innocuous hot flashes and have chosen to participate in a lesser-known menopausal symptom called “volcanic eruptions.” In other words, I sweat like a sumo wrestler in a sauna and typically do so at very inopportune times. Like at public functions or at four o’clock in the morning when I should be sleeping.

Such was the case a few weeks ago when I woke up before dawn wide-eyed and disoriented only to discover I was essentially floating in a pool of my own making. I groggily thought, Okay, I can either lie here and let my frustration grow with each soggy passing second or I can go ahead and get up. Then I mused, I wonder if I drank some super-hot coffee if it would trick my body into cooling down? Which is what ultimately compelled me to roll out of bed and stumble through the dark to the pantry rooting for java beans.

I found just enough coffee beans in the bottom of my last bag to make one single cup of go-go juice. So I decided I’d French-press the brew to perfection and then savor it peacefully while sitting at the kitchen island watching the sun come up at the same time my body temp would hopefully be going down. Unfortunately, when I carried my steaming cup of liquid joy to the island and began to sit down, I was so sweaty I slipped on the edge of the barstool and ended up spilling the coffee over a stack of papers in front of me.

Upon closer inspection, I discovered the ruined paperwork was Missy’s homeschool lesson for the day (we’re engaged in a “University-hybrid” educational program, tutoring, and classroom learning environments). Right then and there I made the executive decision to change her curriculum and move our schoolwork to the mall for a little lesson on capitalism. And I was almost sure I heard the Holy Spirit whisper that it was okay for us to drive through Starbucks on the way.

So when Missy woke up a few hours later, I used lots of enthusiastic inflection to inform her of our edited educational itinerary and quickly bundled her into the car for our soon-to-be caffeinated field trip. Unfortunately, my cropped-pants-wearing-barista was very grumpy and shoved my extra hot, non-fat mocha with whip (I choose to believe that non-fat milk and whipped cream cancel each other out making my drink choice almost healthy!) through the drive-thru window with a sniff of condescension. Frankly I think young men who choose to wear pants that end only a few inches below their knees have abdicated the right to be condescending, but that’s because I’m old.

Anyway, I’m convinced Mr. Disdaining Short Pants meant to hand me a cup with an unsecured lid that would inevitably spill when I took it from him. I don’t know how you react when you’ve already endured a very bad, no good, horrible morning and a cup of scalding hot coffee lands in your lap, but I accidentally blurted a word that’s not in the Bible. I’m not proud of it, but I did it. Now I’m not going to tell you what the offensive word was, but I will confess it rhymed with “quit.”

Sadly the incident went further downhill from there.

By now you know that since Missy is from Haiti, English is her second language. What you might not know is that as soon as I brought her home, she developed the habit of weaving new words into song melodies to help her remember them. So within a nanosecond of me blurting the bad word she’d woven it into one of her favorite tunes this season, which is Chris Tomlin’s song “Good, Good Father.”

Unfortunately, it only took another second or two for me to dig my pit of sin even deeper with the transgression of deception. I whirled around and exclaimed, “Oh no, baby, that’s not the word Mama said! Mama said (at which point I sang these words to the same worship tune she’d just innocently warbled), ‘You’re a good, good coffee cup. So sit right here, sit right here.’” All while exaggerating the motion of taking the cup from the drive-thru window and placing it in the front seat cup holder.

Of course by the time we pulled into the Dillard’s parking lot I felt like the worst Jesus-loving mom on the planet because it wasn’t even lunchtime yet and I’d already led my sweet child into skipping school, said a bad word in front of her, and committed song piracy right here in our hometown of Music City. Suffice it to say, the immutability or changelessness of God has become one of my favorites of His attributes . . . because it’s a trait noticeably missing from my life these days!

• What life changes (hopefully not as dramatic or drippy as mine) have you disliked the most?
• Why were those particular transitions difficult for you to navigate?
• If you are facing a season where things seem to be shifting around more than usual—whether in your circumstances or even your physical body!—how does God’s changeless character encourage you?