Day 85: Worth the Risk

“But I say to you who listen: Love your enemies, do what is good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If anyone hits you on the cheek, offer the other also. And if anyone takes away your coat, don’t hold back your shirt either. Give to everyone who asks you, and from someone who takes your things, don’t ask for them back. Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. If you do what is good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do what is good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High. For he is gracious to the ungrateful and evil. Be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.” Luke 6:27–36

I’m often asked if it’s hard taking Missy back to Haiti to reestablish connections with her relatives and former caretakers—most of whom she barely remembers and a few of whom have falsely and manipulatively claimed to have cared for her back when she was a baby in the hopes of financial gain now. To answer that question honestly, yes, it’s been super-hard. And really messy. And very emotionally draining. As well as, much more complicated than I initially anticipated, despite receiving lots of professional counseling and seeking the advice of social workers, child psychiatrists, and adoption specialists regarding this very issue.

Unfortunately, there is no perfect, fail-safe, step-by-step plan to follow when it comes to the process of restoration in the midst of the really heavy, complicated fallenness of the world. To sew love where there has been devastating loss is not unlike hiking uphill in the rain wearing a blindfold. However, for those stubbornly hopeful few who choose to attempt this proverbial hike, the view from the top is incomparably glorious. And for our little family the uphill climb of reconnecting with Missy’s biological relatives and keeping her Haitian roots intact wasn’t a risky option we could refuse because the Holy Spirit made it clear to me that it was a directive from my heavenly Father. Who, of course, knew before the beginning of time that it would bless my kid with a beautifully diverse well of affirmation and affection.

Plus, Missy’s learning that while extending love and kindness isn’t always an easy plan to navigate, it’s always the right plan. Call me crazy, but I still believe that true love and real relationships are more than worth the high price of admission, and I hope my daughter grows up to be just as crazy as her Mama Blan. Sir C. S. Lewis says it best:

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.16

• Luke 6:27–36 calls us to love hard even when it is hard. How has this paid relational dividends in your life?
• In what ways has God asked you to seek restoration and reconciliation in a messy relationship?
• How did God seek restoration and reconciliation with you when you were in a broken relationship with Him? How does this change the way you view the broken or difficult relationships in your own life?