Day 91: Catching Hornets With Honey

A gentle answer turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath. The tongue of the wise makes knowledge attractive, but the mouth of fools blurts out foolishness. The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, observing the wicked and the good. The tongue that heals is a tree of life, but a devious tongue breaks the spirit. Proverbs 15:1–4

Dear woman who keeps sending me unkind messages about Missy dancing in public because of my bad parenting skills,

My daughter often borrows my phone and recently, she accidentally clicked on your latest anonymous indictment about us before I realized what she was up to. I could tell it wounded her little girl spirit when she looked up and asked softly, “Mama, why is this lady being so mean about me dancing with Aunt Chris?”

I told her that you were probably a lot like the Grinch—that you probably didn’t receive as much love as you deserved when you were little, or maybe your heart had been hurt so badly that you felt like you had no choice but to keep it small and hard so it wouldn’t get kicked around again. To which she replied that we should love you more then, because when the Grinch was loved, his heart grew and all the grumpiness got pushed out.

So I want to inform you that Missy and I are now praying for you on a daily basis—believing for God to send people into your life who see past your likely self-protective veneer to the image-bearer inside who is so worthy of healthy love and friendship and belonging.

And since you described Missy’s dancing as “an inappropriate, attention-seeking public spectacle,” she wanted you to know that she dances all the time in private too. When I asked her why a few years ago, she explained simply, “Mama, I like to dance . . . it makes me feel happy.”

Given the fact that doctors in Haiti only gave my daughter a few months to live after her first mama died when she was a baby and she languished in an orphanage long after that horrific loss, I believe Missy’s very life is a miracle and her joyful, always-ready-to-dance personality is the supernatural way God wired her to defy the natural odds.

Now you’re obviously entitled to your own opinion and if her dancing continues to offend you, please unfollow me asap for your own peace of mind, especially in light of the fact that this isn’t the first time you’ve aired your grievances on the Internet.

Finally, please know the video attached to this note is a recording my miracle kid choreographed especially for you, smack-dab in the middle of our five acres in the boonies of Tennessee where no one else besides me could see—or appreciate—her sheer joy.

It’s not about garnering attention, ma’am, it’s about exulting in being alive.

Sincerely,

Lisa Harper (a.k.a.: Missy’s mom)

• When’s the last time you sloshed grace on a stinker whose behavior deserved a good tongue-lashing?
• How did your gentle response affect your relationship with said stinker?
• When has someone else’s gentle answer effectively “turned away” your anger?