Day 221: John 19:38–42

There was a garden in the place where He was crucified. A new tomb was in the garden; no one had yet been placed in it (v. 41).

Sometimes violent circumstances shake the earth beneath our feet. We feel as if a canyon has suddenly appeared and we’ve been hurled into it. Our emotions swing wildly, and we think we’ll be torn in two. Those like Mary and John who loved Jesus most must have felt such a dichotomy of emotions at the finality of His death.

Watching someone suffer violent pain causes most loved ones to feel relief when it ends, even if death bid it cease. Then true to our self-destructive, self-condemning natures, relief often gives way to guilt. To add to the heap, the finality of the death ushers in feelings of hopelessness. Why? Because humanity has bone-deep indoctrination in the following statement: Where there is life, there is hope.

Not in God’s strange economy. That day of all days, where there was death, there was hope. And strangely, even now for those of us in Christ, our greatest hope is in what lies beyond our deaths. We stand on the edge of our cliff-like emotions looking into the deep cavern of our grief, and we’re sure that the jump will kill us. Yet for those of us who entrust our feeble selves to our faithful Creator, in ways I can neither explain nor describe, it doesn’t. When death of some kind comes and we are willing to take it to the cross, to remain nearby, and to suffer its grief, we will also experience the resurrection.

We say, “But part of me has died with it.” And indeed it has. Hear the words of Christ echo from the grave: “I assure you: Unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it remains by itself. But if it dies, it produces a large crop” (John 12:24 hcsb). As a child bearing the name of Christ, if a part of you has died, in time it was meant to produce many seeds. Oh, Beloved, don’t give up!

We hear so much talk about the phases of grief: the shock, the anger, often depression, then, finally, acceptance. We’re led to believe that acceptance of death is the final stage of grief. But if we are in Christ, the final stage has not come until we’ve allowed God to bring forth resurrection life and many seeds from the kernel of wheat that fell to the ground. Yes, we have to come to acceptance, but not just acceptance of the death. Acceptance of the resurrection life. Don’t stop until you experience it. Though it tarry, it shall come!