Day 237: Acts 9:23-26

When he arrived in Jerusalem, he tried to associate with the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, since they did not believe he was a disciple (v. 26).

You may wonder what the persecutor-turned-preacher named Saul had to do with our John. Actually, Paul’s testimony will offer us several important insights into the apostle John and also will supply us with a very valuable time line.

In Galatians, Paul tells that after his conversion he went to Arabia and then returned to Damascus. Only after three years did he travel to Jerusalem. The three years encompassed his original stay in Damascus, his flight to the desert, his return to Damascus, and his travel time to Jerusalem. Position John among the disciples in Jerusalem at this time.

But don’t miss the words in Acts 9:1, where Saul was “still breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord” (hcsb). Peter, John, and the others had plenty of reasons to take Saul’s actions personally. Furthermore, they hadn’t received the same vision God had given to Ananias in Damascus concerning the validity of Saul’s conversion. Saul could have faked his conversion as a means of getting close to them and exposing their unrelenting evangelism after the warning to cease.

Fast-forward your thoughts on the time line now to the events surrounding the death of James, John’s beloved brother. We have no reason to believe much time passed between Paul’s conversion and the martyrdom of James. We know that Stephen was martyred before Paul’s conversion and that Paul in fact gave approval to his death. James was martyred after Paul’s conversion. Even though several years had passed, don’t you imagine that if John were anything like most of us, he had some pretty strong feelings about Paul?

Even though Paul dramatically gave his life to Christ before James was seized and killed, had I been John, I would have had a fairly difficult time embracing him. I’m afraid I might have had thoughts like, “If not for people exactly like you, my brother might still be alive.” Maybe John felt none of what I’m describing, but I believe Christ’s first ragtag band of followers were like us. Yes, the Holy Spirit had come to them and, yes, they had matured somewhat, but grief and loss don’t always perpetuate extremely rational feelings. None of the rest of the apostles had lost a blood brother at this point. I just have to wonder how John felt about Paul those first several years.