Day 25: 1 Samuel 20:1–17

“If I continue to live, treat me with the Lord’s faithful love, but if I die, don’t ever withdraw your faithful love from my household—not even when the Lord cuts off every one of David’s enemies from the face of the earth” (vv. 14–15).

The Spirit of God sometimes cements two people together as part of His plan. God would never have chosen David to be His future king if He had not planned to sustain him and ultimately deliver him safely to his throne. Jonathan was an important part of God’s plan. They were uncommon friends joined by a common bond: the Spirit of God.

Consider these evidences of an uncommon friendship.

1. Uncommon friends can speak their minds without fear. Imagine the tone David probably used with Jonathan when he came to him, demanding to know why Saul was seeking his life. David asked, “What have I done? What is my crime? How have I wronged your father, that he is trying to take my life?” (v. 1).

Jonathan replied, “Look, my father doesn’t do anything, great or small, without confiding in me. Why would he hide this from me? It’s not so!” (v. 2).

David’s words suggest nothing less than panic. Jonathan could easily have received David’s words as an insult. After all, David practically took his frustration out on Jonathan and asked him to explain his father’s actions. As you carefully consider the words they traded, you can almost hear them shouting at each other.

Jonathan responded to David’s panic with the words, “Why would he hide this from me? It’s not so!” David came very close to holding Jonathan responsible for Saul’s actions, and Jonathan came very close to getting defensive.

Their initial words to one another were natural under these circumstances. What is not natural, however, was their freedom to speak their minds and move on to resolution without great incident. At this point Jonathan didn’t believe that Saul was really trying to take David’s life, yet he acknowledged that David’s feelings were authentic by saying, “Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do for you” (v. 4). He didn’t necessarily agree with David, but he agreed that David was upset and needed his help instead of his doubt.

Allowing others to speak their fears even when we can’t understand is characteristic of uncommon friendship. Willingness to listen, then to let the potential insults pass, is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of strength. The bonds of uncommon friends are deeper than the width of their differences.

2. Uncommon friends can share their hearts without shame. The scene between Jonathan and David in 1 Samuel 20:41 touches my heart every time I read it. Jonathan signaled David that he must run for his life. Then Jonathan sent the boy that was with him away and went to David.

After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times, with his face to the ground. Then they kissed each other and wept together—but David wept the most.

Something about two men unafraid to share their hearts with one another never fails to move me. Uncommon friends can be vulnerable with one another and still retain their dignity. The friendship between them was far more than emotion. It was a safe place to trust and show feelings. They shared a common goal: the will of God. Each life complemented the other. They had separate lives but inseparable bonds.

3. Uncommon friends can stay close even at a distance. Most friendships require time and attention. We saw that Jonathan and David’s friendship did not grow out of a lengthy period of time as most friendships do. They were brought together by spiritual ties, not sequences of time. They had “sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord” (v. 42). God brought them together. Their friendship was a bond of three.

I am struck by how Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 pictures the friendship of David and Jonathan. We are not sure that Solomon wrote the Book of Ecclesiastes, but if he did, I wonder if the inspiration from this passage came from the stories he heard at his father David’s knee.

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! . . . A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Eccles. 4:9–10, 12b)

This Scripture applies perfectly to Jonathan and David, but especially the last line. Doesn’t this statement picture God’s part in Jonathan and David’s friendship? If God is not an active part in your friendships, you are missing one of life’s most important treasures.