Day 304: Ephesians 5:22–24

Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church (vv. 22–23).

For the next few days, we will concentrate on the letter to the Ephesians. Most scholars believe Colossians and Ephesians were written early in Paul’s two-year imprisonment in Rome because he never hinted of a possible release as he did in Philemon (see v. 22) and Philippians (see 1:19–26).

The letter to the Ephesians differs from his letter to the Colossians. Paul never warned of deceptive philosophy; rather, he wrote about a greater knowledge and experience in Christ. We can easily deduce the reason for the omission of several basics. Remember, the Christians at Colosse had never met Paul, while the people of Ephesus had benefited from his teaching and an unparalleled demonstration of power for several years.

Paul found receptive soil in Ephesus, even in the midst of terrible hardships. His lengthy and effective ministry in Ephesus not only resulted in deep bonds of love and brotherhood (see Acts 20:37–38); it also freed him to proceed to great depths in his letter. Space limits me to choose only one or two subjects from the book of Ephesians, but among the most important are the biblical roles of three distinct figures intimately involved in marriage: wives, husbands, and Christ. Ladies, let’s get the painful part over first!

First, look back to verse 21, where Paul speaks of “submitting to one another in the fear of Christ” (hcsb). The attitude of all Christians is to be submissive to one another. No discussion of this topic can stay on track apart from that spirit. Paul’s primary directive to women dealt with submission, while his primary directive to men dealt with love. Could it be that he was targeting the areas most likely to be our weaknesses? Before we learn what submission means for Christian wives, let’s learn what it does not mean:

1. Submission does not mean women are under the authority of men in general. I love the King James Version’s rendition of Ephesians 5:22: “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands.” Guess what? Wives aren’t asked to submit to anyone else’s husband—just their own! While I make this point somewhat tongue-in-cheek, many women assume the Bible teaches their general inferiority and subjection to men. Untrue. Paul is talking about marriage as a matter between each husband and wife.

2. Submission does not mean inequality. Paul, the same man who taught submission, made a statement in Galatians 3:28 pertinent to our subject: “There is no Jew or Greek, slave or free, male or female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (hcsb). Spiros Zodhiates’ definition of the Greek word hupotasso explains that submission “is not due to her being inferior to her husband, for they are both equal before God.”

3. Submission does not mean wives are to treat their husbands like God. One commentary explains: “‘As to the Lord’ does not mean that a wife is to submit to her husband in the same way she submits to the Lord, but rather that her submission to her husband is her service rendered ‘to the Lord.’”62 I think most husbands would be relieved to know they are not called on to be God to their wives!

4. Submission does not mean slavery. Let’s release a few old notions and fears here! Paul uses an entirely different word in Ephesians 6:5 when he instructs slaves to obey their masters. This Greek word for “obey,” hupakouo, embraces more of the meaning people often mistakenly associate with marital submission. Hupakouo means “to obey, to yield to a superior command or force (without necessarily being willing).” The term draws a picture of a soldier saluting his commander, not a wife submitting to her husband!

Now that we’ve learned a few things submission does not mean, just exactly what does it mean? The Greek word for “submit” is hupotasso. Hupo means “under” and tasso means “to place in order.” The compound word hupotasso means “to place under or in an orderly fashion.” Paul didn’t dislike women; he liked order! He advocated order in the church, order in government, order in business, and, yes, order in the home. I’m convinced he even kept his cell in order! Galatians 3:28 and Ephesians 5:22 could spill from the same man’s pen because Paul regarded husbands and wives as spiritual equals, though with certain obvious and functional differences.

The concept of a submissive wife really used to go against my grain until I began to learn more about God. Two realizations have changed my entire attitude:

• God is good and loving. He would never give approval to meanness or abuse. Any misuse of submission by either the husband or wife is sin.

• God granted women a measure of freedom in submission that we can learn to enjoy. It is a relief to know that as a wife and mother, I am not totally responsible for my family. I have a husband I can look to for counsel and direction. I can rely on his manly toughness when I am too soft, and I can rely on his logic when I am too emotional.

Certainly I haven’t just delivered the definitive dissertation on submission, but I do believe I’m offering you sound doctrine. I hope it helps.