Day 309: Philippians 3:12–21

One thing I do: forgetting what is behind and reaching forward to what is ahead, I pursue as my goal the prize promised by God’s heavenly call in Christ Jesus (vv. 13–14).

After such noble beginnings, such strict following of God’s laws, incomparable attainment of the knowledge of Scripture, and every external mark of righteousness—what happened? How did a brilliant young rabbi become a relentless persecutor of men and women? He certainly did not develop into a murderous zealot under the instruction of Gamaliel, his highly esteemed teacher. Under similar circumstances, Gamaliel counseled his fellow leaders: “I tell you, stay away from these men and leave them alone. For if this plan or this work is of men, it will be overthrown” (Acts 5:38 hcsb).

Saul was not unlike others—the young and inexperienced—those who think they have all the answers. The obvious difference is that Saul’s answers were lethal. Saul thought he was smarter than his teacher. No sense in waiting to see if the people of the Way would finally dissipate. He took matters into his own hands and tried to give them a much-needed shove. Acts 26:11 describes Saul’s mental state perfectly: he had become obsessed. “Many a time I went from one synagogue to another to have them punished, and I tried to force them to blaspheme. In my obsession against them, I even went to foreign cities to persecute them” (Acts 26:11).

I’m certainly no counselor, but I suspect that most obsessions rise from a futile attempt to fill a gaping hole somewhere deep in a life. Saul’s external righteousness and achieved goals left behind an itch he could not scratch. Can you imagine how miserable he must have been? Religiously righteous to the bone, inside he had nothing but innately wicked marrow. All that work, and it hadn’t worked. All his righteous passion turned into unrighteous zeal, and he became dangerous.

The Greek word for “obsessed” is emmainomai. The root word is mainomai, which means “to act like a maniac.” Our best attempts at homegrown righteousness are still but a moment from the unspeakable. Passions can turn a new direction with frightening speed. May none of us forget it. The prophet Isaiah said, “All our righteous acts are like filthy rags” (Isa. 64:6). If all the righteousness we have is our own, it’s just an act. And acts don’t last very long.

In this story we also get to see the purity of a Savior’s mercy. Saul himself would later say, “God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us!” (Rom. 5:8 hcsb). Christ met Saul on the path to his darkest, most devious sin. For that very moment, for the depths of Saul’s depravity, Christ had already died. Christ literally caught him in the act.

Toward the end of his life, he would sit in a jail cell and write: “Not that I have already reached the goal or am already fully mature, but I make every effort to take hold of it because I also have been taken hold of by Christ Jesus” (Phil. 3:12 hcsb). The Greek word translated “take hold” means “to lay hold of, seize, with eagerness, suddenness . . . the idea of eager and strenuous exertion, to grasp.” Christ literally snatched Saul by the neck. This persecutor turned apostle would later write to Timothy, his son in the faith: “This saying is trustworthy and deserving of full acceptance: ‘Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners’—and I am the worst of them” (1 Tim. 1:15 hcsb).

Jesus sent Saul to open the eyes of many and turn them from darkness to light so they could receive forgiveness of sins. No greater calling exists, as well as no room for pride. God’s chosen servant was never more than a flashback from humility. No one can teach forgiveness like the forgiven. Thank goodness, Saul ultimately became a zealous proponent of forgiveness of sin.

Let’s end with some important thoughts about zeal. In the conversion of Saul, we see demonstrated that: a) we can wholeheartedly believe in something and be wholeheartedly wrong, and b) sincerity means nothing if it is misdirected. Saul believed in his cause with all his heart, yet it led him down the path to destruction. Saul was sincere. As he stated in Acts 26:9, “I myself supposed it was necessary to do many things in opposition to the name of Jesus the Nazarene” (hcsb).

Christ not only snatched Saul from Satan that pivotal day; He also snatched Saul from himself—from his own misguided zeal, his own obsessions. He can snatch you from yours too. I’m living proof. I couldn’t count the times during any given month that I thank God for saving me not only from Satan but from myself.

Having studied the life of Saul, how can we ever doubt that Christ can save? Is anyone too wicked? Anyone too murderous? Grace never draws a line with a willing soul. His arm is never too short to save (see Isa. 59:1). He can reach into the deepest pit or down the dustiest road to Damascus. Yes, some things are gray such as, “Why did He choose us?” But some things are still black and white—I once was lost, but now I’m found, was blind but now I see.