Communication Bombs
Communication Bombs
Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves. (Phil. 2:3)
Communication Casualties
A major cause of explosions in marital communication is selfishness. We think our points are sound and hers are nonsense. We assume the more she disagrees, the stronger we need to argue. We conclude that we must win the argument. Yet these stances accomplish nothing more than raising blood pressure, ruining the evening, and creating marital strife.
When voices are raised and tempers are lost, what do we hope to accomplish? That she’ll calmly concede and say, “Your arguments are profound, my liege. Would his majesty care for some steak?” You may like that, but it isn’t going to happen. Why? Because in hurtful marital arguments, everyone loses.
Averting the War
Paul says we are to do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, which amounts to an overappraisal of our own worth. Rather, we are to consider others—including our wives—as more important than we are.
If you and your wife are in a disagreement, and you truly consider her more important than you, it will be impossible to disrespect her viewpoint, raise your voice, and determine to win at all costs. Yes, she should follow that Scripture too, but you each answer individually to the Lord. Furthermore, you are the leader in the marriage. What better way to lead than to follow the example of the Lord: take up the towel, humble yourself, and serve.
Bottom Line
As the leader in your marriage, it is up to you to keep disagreements from becoming hurtful arguments.