When Happiness Hurts
When Happiness Hurts
See how happy the man is God corrects; so do not reject the discipline of the Almighty. (Job 5:17)
Honor the Bond
Happy is such a happy word. Just saying it can make you feel warm and fuzzy. It’s natural for parents to want their children to be happy and be blessed with high self-esteem. But happiness also has a dark side. Studies show that gang leaders, violent criminals, and bullies often have high self-esteem. Self-esteem can also come from feeling powerful, so men who abuse women or executives who cheat their company can often feel happy about themselves.
Pain Equals Gain
When it comes to raising good kids, the goal shouldn’t be happiness. Richard Weissbourd, a faculty member at the Harvard School of Education, says character comes from making sacrifices, facing challenges, and dealing with adversity—ideas rooted in the Bible. Serving others can give our kids a sense of happiness that doesn’t fade. Even a little pain or discipline can ultimately lead to happiness, as the “happy” man in Job 5:17 attests.
Just as we shouldn’t reject God’s discipline, we shouldn’t hold back in disciplining our children or allowing them to feel a little pain. Momentary sadness caused by correction or hardship can help our kids live more God-honoring lives. We should teach our kids to do the right thing, not because it makes them happy but because it’s right. That may be countercultural, but it’s God’s way.
Bottom Line
God calls us to focus on our kids’ character so they’ll experience the right kind of happiness.