What "The Summer I Turned Pretty" Reveals about Choosing Character Over Chemistry
I'm almost embarrassed to admit it, but I've joined the teen bandwagon of fangirling and obsessing over fictional characters this summer. Though The Summer I Turned Pretty has been popular for the last few years, the final season is bringing heat hotter than soaring August temperatures. While banters for Team Bonrad or Team Jelly exist, perhaps a deeper question is brought into the light: Are we choosing character over chemistry? And should we?
If you're unfamiliar with the hit show, The Summer I Turned Pretty is three seasons long and produced by Netflix. It's based on Jenny Han's book, The Summer I Turned Pretty, but readers note that the show and book often pale in comparison. Belly, short for Isabella Susannah Conklin, has always been one of the guys. Every summer, her mom would take her to Cousins to reunite at the lake house. Susannah, whose middle name, Belly, comes from, has two boys: Conrad and Jeremiah. And to them, she's just one of the boys until she isn't.
Suddenly, Cupid has his arrow and shots are being fired. Over the next three seasons, Belly struggles to find herself and who she should be in love with. She loved Conrad from childhood, but after their breakup, it was Jeremiah who was patiently pining away for her as he always had. Without spilling too many spoilers, season three brings this love triangle to a head with a wedding: Belly is engaged to Jeremiah Fisher, but does her heart still beat on and off for Conrad?
Though TSITP fans attempt to turn fiction into reality, this plot line reflects modern dating dilemmas and the value we often place on emotional chemistry vs. character. Jeremiah is stable for Belly in seasons 1 and 2, but his character comes into question as he strives for his dad's approval in season 3.
In contrast, Conrad seems to have grown up in season 3. Where he previously didn't know or understand himself, let alone how to process grief, panic attacks, and emotions, season 3 shows a now chisled and mature medical student: He's gone to therapy, learned how to cook, and how to process his emotions in healthy ways. But, he still hasn't confessed his lasting love for Belly. Because he can't break the promise he made on his mother's deathbed to care for her and Jeremiah to the end, and this brings up one important and life-changing point for us as Christians: While chemistry can be new, fresh, fun, and exciting, Scripture reminds us that character is the foundation for true, steadfast, and lasting love.
The Allure of Chemistry (Conrad)
Up until season 3, Conrad has given off the "bad boy" vibe. Belly has been in love with him since she could walk, but he plays hard to get. Hiding his true feelings behind smouldering faces and petty fights, Belly longs for a deep emotional connection with Conrad.
On the screen, their chemistry is evident. There is an excitement and intensity that comes with infatuation. Even in their dating, this playfulness is explored and shown well. It takes Conrad a long time to lower his guard and show how he's feeling when things get tough. Sadly, it's his unwillingness to express his true emotions that leads to his and Belly's breakup. When he finds out his mom is dying, he doesn't want to bring Belly down. Instead of saying that, they break up at prom and have an argument later that year at the funeral.
Sadly, relationships often work like this in real life, but they shouldn't. Proverbs 14:12 notes that there is a way that seems right to a person, but this is a path that ends in death. Friends, strong feelings, or even the best chemistry aren't enough for wisdom. I'm not saying I'm anti-team Conrad, or pro-team Jeremiah, but I'm saying that wisdom is needed in modern-day relationships, just as, if not more than, chemistry. Chemistry can be cultivated and grown over time, but both parties need to be mature and have a sense of their identity before trying to merge two lives into one.
The Strength of Character (Jeremiah)
In contrast, seasons 1 and 2 portray Jeremiah as a bit jealous and unpredictable. After he confesses his love for Belly, however, his kindness, dependability, and stability shine through. These are some of the highest qualities that lead to long-term, healthy relationships.
Now, it goes without saying, but Jeremiah, nor any other human being, is perfect. It's good to have high standards, but people are going to mess up and fall in this broken world. For Jeremiah, season 3 highlights more of his flaws than the strength of his character, and this is where tensions begin to rise. Suddenly, Jeremiah is "a cheater." He's working hard to get his dad's approval, but loses part of himself in the process. He even throws a small tantrum over wanting a $750 mirror-glazed wedding cake.
Quickly, we say, "out with the old and in with the new." We forget all the drama and push and pull Conrad put Belly through, and name Jeremiah as the bad guy. Again, I'm not choosing sides here, but trying to portray an accurate picture of the human experience. Because again, neither Conrad nor Jeremiah is perfect, and when you put them against Christian virtues, the differences are painfully evident.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we learn that character, integrity, and steadfastness are important qualities of any relationship, let alone romantic relationships. Love is patient, kind, and does not boast. It isn't proud, it doesn't dishonor others, it's not self-seeking, easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs. "Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres" (NIV). Notice that it doesn't say love is based on feelings or fantasies. While these things aren't bad, and often normal parts of romance, true, eternal, and everlasting love must be deeper than attraction or infatuation. It must last till the end of time.
Choosing Eternal Qualities Over Temporary Feelings
Despite the Jelly versus Bonrad disputes, I would encourage you to reflect on your relationships, not in light of swoon-worthy moments, but on character. Do you base your relationship on things that will pass away or fade with time, or do you base it on eternal characteristics?
Whether you're in a current relationship or not, try following these action steps:
1. Make a list of qualities you value in a partner. Find Bible verses for all the qualities that you can.
2. Pray for discernment when evaluating potential relationships. This is important to do before, during, and after relationships (if they end).
3. Seek friendships and relationships that reflect Christlike character. Remember: Romantic love is important, but all relationships should reflect Jesus and His love for us. Strive to share that love with those around you.
This week, meditate on the idea that lasting love is rooted in character and not just feelings. And as you're watching the latest episode of The Summer I Turned Pretty, remember this: The love these actors portray is just a show. They are actors with a script. But the love we can show others is real. It's based on the eternal truth of the one who loved us enough to give us this life and beyond. It's based on the Gospel that can be shown in the way we choose to love others.
A Prayer for Wisdom in Love
Dear God,
Chemistry can be exciting, especially when we get caught up in our relationships and compare them to the ones we see on TV, but Lord, character builds lasting love. As we navigate relationships, or even the love triangles we see on Amazon Prime shows, give us wisdom. As King Solomon prayed, give us wisdom to serve and love others well. Help us to discern wisely and practice patience in all relationships we face, and reflect you in all we say and do. We love, praise, and thank you, Jesus.
Amen.
Photo Credit: Facebook August 15, 2025 @5:58 @TheSummerITurnedPretty
Originally published August 19, 2025.
