Renew Our Minds with Love - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - August 5
Renew Our Minds with Love
By: Michelle Lazurek
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing, and perfect will.” Romans 12:2
While cleaning the garage one day, I came across many old clothes and other apparel. Thinking it was junk, I threw it in a garbage bag and put it in the trash. My husband asked me where the clothes were a month later. I immediately remembered where they were and what I had done with them. I admitted I threw them away, thinking they were trash. My husband was gracious, but I could tell he was upset that I hadn't asked him first about throwing it away. No matter how much I wanted to justify my actions, I couldn't overcome my guilt because I did not consider my husband's feelings.
In the first few years of marriage, it's easy to consider your spouse all the time. The newlywed couple, adjusting to the novelty of marriage and is still navigating the honeymoon stage. It's easy to think about them and want to do nice things for them all the time. As the marriage years go by, it's easy to take your spouse for granted. Soon, you stop thinking about your spouse as often. Their quirks, flaws, and idiosyncrasies pile until we begin to feel not loving feelings but disdainful ones. These negative thoughts, when gone unchecked, lead to trouble, constant fights, and a negative view of your spouse.
There's a way to fix this. Your view of your spouse doesn't always have to be negative. We fill our minds with negative thoughts, so why do our brains automatically think negatively? Paul tells us we can be transformed by the renewing of our minds. This idea means we can rewire our brains to think positive thoughts.
First, recall the times that made you fall in love with your spouse. Was it their charm? Their funny stories? Their intelligence? Reflect upon these things. Allow your mind to recall all the fun memories you have with each other. Seek to relive those memories. Go back to the place where you first got engaged. Take a walk on the beach where you had your first date. Waste time at the arcade playing video games and drinking soda. Whatever you enjoy doing together, recall those memories. Relive them as if they're the first time you've done them. Then, pay close attention to the feelings you feel. Is that love being rekindled? If it is, dwell on that. Don't allow one bad comment or memories of the past put out that flame.
Then, tell your spouse one encouraging thing every day. Tell them how much you appreciate even the smallest gesture. Thank them for making dinner, cleaning up after the kids, or staying up for long talks. For thirty days, seek to encourage your spouse, even after a fight or other source of conflict. This does not have to be spoken out loud; you can write a note, send an e-mail, etcetera.
Ask for nothing in return. Go with no strings attached. If your spouse chooses to reciprocate, let them. But don't encourage them only to be encouraged back. This intention only weakens the gesture. At the end of the 30 days, re-evaluate your feelings about your spouse. Did your feelings or thoughts change because of this exercise? Paul told the Roman church that it was possible to renew our minds, ultimately transforming our lives. We never have to worry about our actions leading to the end of our marriage. It's never too late to repent and change our ways. Renewing our minds makes it easier for us to change our hearts and actions. Not only are we better people for participating in things like this, but we can have a vibrant, healthy marriage with the intimacy we long for.
Father, let us change the way we love our spouses. Let’s not simply recite empty, meaningless words. Instead, renew our minds to fuel our marriages with loving actions. Let us be the same example in our marriage that Jesus would want us to be. Amen.
Photo Credit: iStock/Getty Images Plus/Natali_Mis
Related Resource: The Truth Every Overwhelmed Christian Mom Needs to Hear
Feeling overwhelmed by motherhood? Wondering how to prioritize your faith when you're barely keeping up with everyday life?
If you've ever ended the day feeling guilty because you didn't have time to read your Bible, pray, or spend quiet time with God, you're not alone.
In this episode of I Wish You Could Hear This, Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn sit down with author, speaker, and Equipping Godly Women founder Brittany Ann to talk honestly about the challenges young Christian moms face. Together, they explore how to grow closer to God without adding more pressure to an already full life.
Brittany shares her own journey of balancing marriage, motherhood, ministry, and faith, along with practical encouragement for finding God's peace—even in the middle of exhaustion and chaos.
Like what you hear? Be sure to follow I Wish You Could Hear This on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode!
