Helping Your Spouse as They Recover from Pornography Addiction - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - July 20
Helping Your Spouse as They Recover from Pornography Addiction
By Vivian Bricker
“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1).
While I was in college, one of my friends started a pornography addiction recovery group for Christian men on the campus. He understood the pain of addiction and wanted to help other Christian men break through from this bondage. Especially since most of them were set to get married soon, they wanted to recover before they married their wives. This is a notable task, and my friend made great strides in helping them; however, I am not sure how many of them have truly recovered from their pornography addictions.
My hope and prayer is that they have all overcome their addiction, but I cannot be dogmatic since I don't know. What I do know is that it is more than possible to recover from pornography addiction and go on to live a healthy life. It will take time and much effort, but it is more than possible. When a person leans on God and asks for His help, there is nothing that is impossible.
Restoring Hearts Counseling reports 77% of Christian men look at pornography monthly, and 32% admit to being addicted to watching pornography. These numbers are staggering, yet they are not surprising. It is no surprise that pornography has raided the world, including the church. This is due to sin being in the world, combined with unlimited access to the internet.
Christian men are not the only ones struggling with pornography addiction, as Christian women can equally struggle. While it is not as common, there are many Christian women who struggle with pornography addiction. As the church of Jesus Christ, this is something that needs to end. Pornography is not holy or honorable. Sexual intimacy is strictly supposed to be between a husband and his wife.
In no way is it supposed to be turned into a film or watched by onlookers. This is wrong, and it is rooted in sin. Some of us may never understand why this is popular, especially amongst Christians, myself included. However, this does not mean Christians need to stay quiet when their spouse is struggling with this sin. Rather than sitting on the sidelines, Christian wives need to be a source of support and help to their spouses.
The good news is that if your spouse has already admitted to their pornography addiction, then they will be able to start recovery. If your spouse has not yet admitted their addiction, it could take more time. In both cases, be a source of support and love for your spouse. Addiction is painful and can damage marriages; therefore, try your best to stay strong. Lean on the Lord and find comfort in Him during this time.
If your spouse is in recovery from pornography addiction, ask them how you can help them. A simple, “How can I best help you in recovery?” can go a long way in your spouse’s heart. There could be many areas he knows you can help with, and he will appreciate your desire to help them. Maybe this means putting a blocker on his computer to prevent him from going to pornography websites.
Or maybe this will mean being an accountability partner for him. Most of the time, it might be doing both of these things plus more. As their wife, it is important to be strong and do your best during this difficult time. It can be a harsh reality to learn your spouse struggles with pornography addiction, but try to see it as a good sign that they are now in recovery. This means they want to change and are willing to put in the effort.
Galatians 5:1 tells us, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.” As Paul says in this passage, it is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Never again should we be burdened by a yoke of slavery. Your spouse needs freedom from their pornography addiction, and this can be found in Jesus. Jesus died in order for your husband to be freed—not to be held in bondage to his addiction.
Write Galatians 5:1 somewhere your spouse can easily see, such as on a sticky note on their computer, on the mirror, or on the front door. This can help your spouse remember he has been set free and he no longer needs to be held in the prison of pornography addiction. This will give him motivation to continue in recovery because He has the Lord.
Do Bible studies together and pray for one another. By doing this, it will help your husband find strength in the Lord. Your presence and constant support will also help him and encourage him to want to get better. Through God, Bible reflections, and personal desire to get better, your husband can get better from his addiction.
“Dear Lord, my spouse is struggling with pornography addiction. They are in recovery now, but I am worried they will fall back into temptation. Please help them in recovery and ensure they can be set free from the prison of addiction. I also ask that You give me strength during this time. Thank You, Lord. Amen.”
Photo Credit: Getty Images/scyther5
Related Resource: Why Couples Drift and How to Reverse It
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