Applying “For Better and for Worse” - Crosswalk Couples Devotional - June 8
Applying “For Better and for Worse”
By: Vivian Bricker
“In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:28).
When a husband and a wife make their vows, they often say they will leave each other “for better and for worse.” Most married couples know that this vow has to be upheld often. Your spouse will fail you sometimes just as you will fail them. This is why the vow of “For better and for worse” is crucially important. At the moment of marriage, both the husband and the wife make a vow to love each other, no matter what.
Even when times get hard, couples are still called to love each other. Sadly, many individuals are not aware of the weight that comes with marriage. Marriage is not a walk in the park and it is not “living the dream.” With marriage comes work. Part of this work involves choosing to love each other even when it is hard.
While it is common for people to say that love is not a choice, it is actually a choice. Love is a choice and it is a choice we have to make everyday. There might be days when your spouse does something that irritates or frustrates you; however, you still love them. It is unhealthy to see love as only a “feeling.” It is much more than a feeling as it is a continued choice everyday.
Upholding the vow of “For better and for worse” means to care for, support, and love your spouse. It is not an easy task nor is it something we can discard. Loving someone for better and for worse means that we love them despite their faults and flaws. Just as they love us, we need to love them.
For husbands, this might look like loving your wife even though she was irritable with you this morning. For wives, this might look like loving your husband even if he forgot something at the store. These are light examples, but the same applies for more difficult issues. Maybe your spouse made a bad move or said something hurtful. This can be hard to move past, yet you have to remember the love you have for them.
Sadly, we can get hurt by our loved ones and this includes our spouse. Our spouse can actually hurt us the most since we are so connected to them. Love sometimes causes pain and this is something we need to accept as we are moving forward in our marriage. Not everything your spouse does will be acceptable to you. In fact, some of it might make you angry or short-tempered.
However, choosing to love your spouse for better and for worse truly means a great deal. The Apostle Paul tells us, “In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:28). As Paul says in this passage, husbands need to love their wives as their own bodies. The man who loves his wife also loves himself. The same is true for wives as they need to love their husbands wholeheartedly.
This can be a hard teaching to apply sometimes; however, it is summed up in the vow to love each for better and for worse. Think about some ways this week you can love your spouse for better and for worse. You know your spouse better than anyone, therefore, try to think of a few things that are unique to them.
For example, maybe you know your spouse is irritable when they get home for work. Rather than getting upset with them and making the situation worse, try to talk matters over with them, be supportive of them, and provide them with comfort. When we start looking at things from their perspective and applying the vow of “For better and for worse,” we will truly start understanding our spouse and loving them better.
Love is life's ultimate gift, and a blessing to be married to your best friend. Even though it can be difficult to be around your spouse at times, try to remember the blessing it is to have a spouse as great as yours. God had brought you both together for a reason and it would be wise to take advantage of this beautiful privilege.
“Dear God, please help me to apply ‘For better and for worse’ in my own marriage. To be completely honest, I have often struggled with this vow. Please help me to do better in this area and to truly love as you want me to love my spouse. Thank You for bringing us together. In Your Son’s Name, I pray, Amen.”
Photo Credit: ©iStock/Getty Images Plus/PeopleImages
Related Resource: 3 Simple Ways to Feed Your Spouse More Praise
How often do you intentionally stop to praise your spouse? To recognize and affirm their character or actions? Many of us probably cringe at answering these questions because we know we could do better! If you struggle to feed your spouse praise regularly, this episode is for you. Listen in as we share some practical steps we all can take to criticize less and affirm and build up our spouse more. If this episode helps your marriage, be sure to subscribe to Team Us on Apple or Spotify so you never miss an episode.
